May 2013
yumiishiyama:
yumiishiyama:
yumiishiyama:
yumiishiyama:
My mom didn’t tell me we were having people over so I took my laptop and locked myself in the bathroom
UPDATE: THERE ARE PEOPLE COMING UPSTAIRS CALLING MY NAME I CAN HEAR THEM OUTSIDE THE DOOR I KNOW THEY JUST WENT IN MY ROOM
UPDATE: THEY HEARD ME TYPIGN AND THEY’RE OUTSIFE THE BATHROOM ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
THEY’RE...
chloweafterdark:
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
3-2-1queer:
When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god”
YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you
jpierrepontcriss:
my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
we all masturbate in the same language
and what language is this?
loneliness
that was deep
so were my fingers last night
omg
wafflesforstephanie:
bringbacklianharper:
the-lron-butt:
babyminaj:
My favorite Oscar of the night
bitch please
make room for the Grammys
Tumblr was invented just for this pun.
I shouldn’t be laughing as much as I am.
natured:
I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope god made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.
the-lonely-scottish-guy:
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
lydiallama:
you know those characters that you just
godheadcomplex:
if i ever tell you that something is my favorite song dont listen to me im a fucking liar i have more favorite songs than there are babies in china
multipack:
pu$$y so cheap its pu¢¢y
ameliaslastgoodbye:
one thing I will never understand is how normal people are unaffected by movies or books I mean when they watch a movie or finish a book they say “well that was a good movie/book” and they move on while I have an existentional crisis and question the whole universe
